I Like guns. I like blowing stuff up with them. I like knocking stuff over with them. I like holding finely crafted steel that was made years before I was even a glint in my daddy's eyes and making these weapons go bang!
But do I really want to be shot at by a bunch of young-uns with paintball guns? Do I really want to chase them around on two bad knees and shoot at them? Well, maybe.
I have the opportunity to take my teenage son out to the field of battle, but I'm having second thoughts.
For one thing, I like for my son to practice good gun safety, which really never involves the pointing of a gun at me: DAD! Now we're going to have to practice doing just that, and then shoot each other. And I've not shot somebody since high school when me and Marty Pope would take the BB guns into the woods, complete with swimming goggles for eye protection, and shoot each other.
The second thing is, I know for a fact they, paintballs, HURT! I drunkenly let my good friend Brain Casey take careful aim at me in his shop one day, and, even AFTER I had stuck three and half inches foam rubber under my tee-shirt, the impact of the "soft" projectile brought me to my knees and a tear to my eye. I won't mention the purple third nipple I had for a week...at least it was dead center.
The third, and maybe most important thing is, if I get shot in the neck (or some other soft part), and start crying, I'll immediately go berserk and wade through the sea of teen faces shooting them in a wild release of rage. Which is not a big deal I guess, except that all the dads'll be there to witness the foul humour. Indeed, some are actual customers of ours, and some may be at some point.
It is odd to want to shoot your fellow man, and I have actually shied away from this game, but I'm a firm believer in trying something once--even golf. And I have shot Marty Pope up a bunch of times so I think I can still get past that cultural check and balance.
I just hope that the teens can take a hit, and that they lay off my pretty face.
As they say in dance class when learning a routine, 'let's just do it and see what happens'... at least you won't kill anyone, but you might learn something.
ReplyDeleteWell let the younguns shoot you and see how it is. It couldn't be any worse than shooting yourself in the leg with a nail gun could it ? Or remember the guy who shot himself in the foot at the rock. Ouch that had to hurt !!!!
ReplyDeleteMy 12 yr old son would LOVE to have a "dad" around to go shoot paintballs with! He talks about paintball ALL THE DAMN TIME!! But, alas, he lives with 2 moms who think that anything that even resembles a phallic shape HAS to be BAD! (LMAO-jk)
ReplyDeleteJust go and have fun, and try not to cry in front of the boys; it might harm your reputation.
Do you have to shoot at each other, or can you gang up with your son and go shoot at some other people? That's totally like, bonding and all!
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