"What are your thoughts on diversity?" An open-ended question it was and it got me thinking quite a bit. And here's what I thought in random order:
1. We are surrounded by diversity in my neck of the woods. Here, in one of the only blue counties of North Carolina, you can't throw dead cat without hitting someone from a different country, ethnicity, age group, religion or sex. We're lousy with diversity around here. Sure you can gird up against it and hang out in bastions of "white america' like shitty sports bars or your church*--but like it or not, the majority of places round here are teeming with a multi-cultural and multi racial and multi-sexual diversity that CBS can't seem to grasp by the looks of their boring TV show line ups they offer every year. (What will fat-ass Kevin James be in this year?)
A quick example? Go sit amid the minarets (salam, muthfucca!) that surround a delightful little area near Ben and Jerry's Ice cream in Friendly Center where one can sit outside and eat and people watch. Last time I was there there were a trio of bored black guys ignoring each other at a table with phones and laptops out, a gay couple were out getting ice cream for their obviously adopted, south of the border boys, and a gang from a local college sat about laughing and eating in a multi-racial gaggle all under the watchful eye of a hot Latino couple eating their ice cream from a cup....together (eww). And of course, as you sit there, keep your eyes peeled at the folks on the sidewalks and you won't be disappointed if diversity is what you're looking for. Heck, there was even a white family there with a bored daughter--dad had on a 49'ers shirt (the cool kind from UNC-Charlotte, not the stupid NFL kind).
So yeah, it's inescapable around here so if you're some kind of xenophobe, you better not live in Greensboro, NC. Don't get me wrong though, I don't mean to suggest we live in some kind of Disneyland harmony, sometimes far from it, but the opportunity to indulge and include are there for the taking.
2. "Be good to me and I will be good back..." is a theme I hear alot. And of course, I've said the same thing myself. And on the surface it sounds reasonable and you can say it paraphrases the good old golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But it doesn't quite measure up to the golden rule. Often, to me, it smacks of that old thing we'd hear over and over when Amendment One, the amendment that would have made (already federally illegal and state level illegal) same sex marriage's illegality part of our state's constitution, was put to vote and those noble enough to oppose same-sex marriage would say they, "loved the sinner, but hated the sin".
It's an easy way to rationalize your own (and mine--I'm not saying I'm above reproach) bigotry and racism. And it's a way of dealing with the unknown people you encounter that has you meeting folks with your guard already up. You're already expecting the worst, and when you get the worst returned to you, when someone reacts to you as guarded and unfriendly, you say to yourself, "Ah! See there! I was right! This [fill in the blank] was an asshole just like all the other [fill in the blank]s."
I know, admittedly this is my default setting too. In a world of "Day in and Day Out" (David Foster Wallace's awesome essay and speech--google that shit right now) it's hard to not create a shorthand for dealing with new people. But like I say, it sets you up for "getting what you give". On the other hand, if you're trying your dad jokes on the wait staff, you might get an even worse result. So I try to temper my "sit back and react to what I get" with a calm demeanor and maybe a testing-the-waters kind of dad joke. I like to paste on a dopey half smile when I have to interact with people. It's no way to win friends and influence people, but that's not my intent on a day to day basis with the diverse public--mostly I'm trying to get some kind of food or service!
Anyway, my point is, as it pertains to diversity, is that accept yourself as I have accepted myself, that as a race of one, an entire species of one, at the center of the universe and all, you owe it to yourself to be good to others in spite of what you think they'll be to you. It's a tough nut I know, and it might be impossible on a "Day in and Day Out" prospect...which brings me to...
3. "Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy."--yeah right. According to the facebook poster from whom I gleaned this quote, Thomas Merton (never heard of him) said or wrote this.
It's an interesting thought as far as Disneyland utopias go, but I suggest you can't love a stranger--that's nuts. I mean if you loved everyone you met you'd destroy yourself. The word gets thrown around alot today by people who want to spread the idea of a happy diversity, of a happy melting pot, but more often or not, it's an attempt at self delusion. You don't, can't possibly love people you don't know. If you did, there wouldn't people standing on the corners with "Please Help, God Bless" signs, and there wouldn't be homeless people and there wouldn't be any debate on the right choices for healthcare/daycare/etc etc...no one would have to "qualify" for "welfare" they would just fare well.
I can count on one hand the people I love, that I would die for and sacrifice everything for on one hand. Oh, I like a bunch of assholes and airheads a whole awful lot, but I don't love them--they don't get a kidney...maybe I'll buy them lunch someday.
My point is, don't aspire to something you can't deliver as you'll only disappoint yourself. I'd rather be surrounded by people burdened with 'Be nice to me and I'll be nice to you" than people who try to delude themselves into thinking they love me.
And so, to wrap things up...
4. Try not to fall into the everyday traps we set ourselves--where we expect disrespect so we project a guarded front, or we try to "love" everyone in a gushing Pollyanna approach and then fail. Try the little things and embrace diversity. It's tough. God knows. I can say thank-you, awkwardly, in five or six common-around-here languages--I learned phonetically so I can't write them, but a little "shukra" can go a long way when you want your damn kabob quickly!
Accept your racism and know it, recognize it so you can choke it down when it starts to raise its head. When that kid asks you if you're a Carolina fan because you have a Goodwill-bought, Carolina Panthers T-shirt on, ignore the fact that his pants are down around his thighs--it's supposed to be cool--and answer him. Ask the Indian woman who's minding the Subway to repeat her question again, y'all will get the order correct eventually--smile and remind her that you're half deaf thanks to your job and remember that she's smarter than you as she speaks two languages, though one with an accent. And (one of my big prejudices) no, you (probably) won't get hepatitis from the waiter with "FTW" tats on his hand and bolts in his nose, face, ears, and neck--all that shit is cosmetic! And if you're lucky enough to never question your sexuality or even gender, be glad and be nice.
5. The time for making America great again came and went a long time ago when we shipped in slaves and tried to destroy indigenous people as the United States was created. All we can do now is move forward and try and repair the damage done by at least admitting that we can and must do better in the future.
What do you think?
*Obviously, if you're African American or Hindu or "whatever", the same can be said that if you want to avoid having to interact with different folks, you can hang out in your local enclaves including places of worship and the cumin-filled or cilantro-scented restaurants near you. And let's face it, it is a nice break to be surrounded by like-skinned folk who at a glance know they have something in common with you. I'll admit that. I felt like a king in Guatemala where everyone had black hair, brown skin, and brown eyes--not to mention I was taller than everyone!
